Immature Poets tell you how to Oscar Party

Well, its that time of the year again. Critics are hailing the Oscar nominations or lambasting them for leaving out their favorite film. The industry is on pins and needles, wondering who will win what. But what really matters is how you throw an Oscar party. You need to first make sure you invite the right people.

Here are the key players you need to invite to make sure that your Oscar party is up to snuff so you and your friends can have a good time.

Guest #1 – The Oscar Pool pusher
This guy has been following all the news and really wants everyone to make a bet and predict who will win. He’s got his ready to go. While pools are fun, this guy is going to talk about how he is going to win because he picks best costume and best original song, but in the end he will probably get almost everything wrong, so go ahead and take his money, it’ll be fun.

Guest #2 – the obnoxious film student
This guy is majored in film in undergrad while you were studying English, or Chemistry, or one of those slightly more credible fields. He spent his time watching movies while you toiled away and now he works as a Barista while you still toil away. But he’s required, so you have to invite him and his pretentions. He’ll hail all of the indie movies you haven’t heard of and discuss the intricacies of why Waltz with Bashir is a better foreign movie (he’ll call it a film) than The Bader Meinhoff Complex. He also will continuously complain about Heath Ledger winning an Oscar because “He wouldn’t if he hadn’t died.”

Guest #3 – The Dark Knight fan boy
Regardless of what category and who wins, this guy is going to complain about how the Dark Knight is much better and explain why. He’s wrong, but he’s probably bringing the Pabst Blue Ribbon so you got to let him in.

Guest #4 – The bored friend
This person doesn’t really watch movies but came for the beer. You know the one.

These are the required people for a successful Oscar night party. Sure, invite your friends, but without these four people the party just won’t be the same, and next year you might be watching alone on your couch.